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Feb 08, 2023
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week February 5th to February 11th 2023
What you can't see
I can't keep my mind from racing
I can't keep my heart from beating
I can't keep myself from shaking
I can't keep my eyes from tearing
I can't keep my body from trembling
I can't keep my thoughts from swirling
I can't keep my head from spinning
I can't keep myself from feeling
I can't keep my emotions in check
I can't keep my anxiety at bay
It's like a storm inside my head
That just won't let up
It's like a hurricane in my chest
That is tearing me apart
I can't keep myself together
I can't keep myself from falling apart
I can't keep my anxiety at bay
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
RoseBlack
2 years 4 months ago
This resonates
With me deeply. You captured the exact feeling of anxiety/panic all within a well constructed poem. Well done.
MindOfGator
2 years 4 months ago
Hi RoseBlack!
Hi RoseBlack!
Just thought a little poem like this would show someone that they aren't alone. Thank you so much for your comment!
MindOfGator
RoseBlack
2 years 4 months ago
Definitely
Not alone! Great write.
Abby
2 years 4 months ago
Repetition and anaphora can
Repetition and anaphora can be powerful. You’ve used it well here.
Geezer
2 years 4 months ago
Sometimes...
we all panic! Our anxiety breaks down the fence and runs away; we just have different triggers. Many times, they don't make sense to other people; but we can't help it! You hit it right on the head here. Good job, all the way around. ~ Geezer.
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Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 4 months ago
Picture perfect
What goddamn ride those panic attacks are. Sorry you have to go through them. I do to occasionally and thankfully less frequently and less intense in recent years. My sister once called an ambulance thinking she was having cardiac issues. This is very real.
Study the mechanism of the vagus nerve. It’s a fight or flight response to the invented threats of your thinking. Research it. It helped me immensely knowing the physiology behind this madness.
Tim
Candlewitch
2 years 4 months ago
hello Mind Of Gator,
I have only had a few of them. the first one when I was eleven. I know what you have gone through and it is my hope for you that you have few of them, far apart and in between lucid moments.
*hugs, Cat
Jackweb
2 years 4 months ago
Repetition...
It is an intentional technique that the author uses throughout the poem. Repeated lines in a poem serve as a mnemonic device. Repeating lines in a poem can also help create emphasis or urgency. When a line, word, phrase, or stanza is repeated, the reader notices. They are drawn into that detail. Authors can use repetition to help drive home an important message within the poem.
And this is a typical example. Well delivered piece!
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