LOST AND FOUND

A NEW DAY BEGINS, YOU'RE OFF AGAIN!
DREAMS FOLLOWING WITH THE WIND
AS YOU MAKE A TIMELY GETAWAY
GO, GO, GO AND DON'T COME BACK
UNTIL THE SUN RESTS
AT THE GLITTERING NIGHTS BEHEST
THERE, THERE YOU JUST MIGHT FIND
WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
A SEED MAY BEGIN TO GROW
AT THE END OF YOUR RAINBOW
AS EACH AND EVERY NEW DAY
BECKONS YOU THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW!
AND YOUR PERSPECTIVE SLOWLY TURNS!
AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I HAVE ENJOYED EVERYTHING TONIGHT! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS! THANK YOU

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

swamp-witch

2 years 3 months ago

AT THE GLITTERING NIGHTS BEHEST

Aesthetic,

"AT THE GLITTERING NIGHTS BEHEST" is a really beautiful line. I am envious that you wrote it and I didn't (lol)!

Some suggestions:

day begins, you're off --> day begins; you're off
nights behest --> night's behest

My final suggestion is to consider not using all capitals in your poetry. Especially online, all capital letters are usually used as an indicator for shouting and I don't think that is your intention with the poem.

Take care,
Kelsey