RoseBlack

Feb 25, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Illusive Presence

Spector
Soulless eyes that
Pull at my heart strings yet
Sends endless shivers down my spine
Ghastly

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Cinquain

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, Jim Morrison

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest Carrie

Your poetry has grown at such an astounding rate, I feel privileged to see that and this poem gives me shivers for real, you've conveyed that atmosphere with such ease and with so little.

Brava!

love and hugs Jayne

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Thanks Jayne

I think I am getting the hang of cinquain. I am kind of enjoying the challenge of finding just the right words and syllables. Thank you for such high praise and as always your comment.

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Thank you

You can see everything in their eyes...

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

I suggest you try substituting the word (Ghastly) for the word: Ghostly. I think it has more of a punch to it. also you should tell what style/category your poem is, in your *readers notes. haveing said that; I think your poem is brilliant!

*ever, eddy
& Cat

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Hi Cat

Thank you for the suggestions. I am finding I like the challenge of a cinquain. I will have to start trying other forms as well.

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

dear Carrie,

I will have to look it up and maybe try one myself! tell me, is it as easy as you have made it look?

*ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Hi Cat

It was a challenge for me but after the first one, much easier. It's five lines 2 4 6 8 and 2 syllables and the last line has to be in relation to the first. I use a syllable counter mark suggested.

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

dear Carrie,

thank you for the explanation and information. what is a syllable counter and where do you find it?

*ever eddy
*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

This is the one I use

You can actually write your whole piece and copy it when you are finished.
https://syllablecounter.net/

Geezer

2 years 4 months ago

Sweet...

I really like this! I have a couple of other things I want to try, but I will move this type/style of poetry to a more prominent place.
Still not number one, but surely close. Thank you for a great example! I have gained a great deal of respect for your awareness of new forms to explore. Great job! ~ Geez.
.

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

Thanks Gee

I have been inspired by many on the site and decided to experiment. I am hoping to move on to some more complex styles but I am enjoying this one right now. It challenges me to come up with different words to fit the criteria. But there are many forms and styles that have peaked my interest and I think make a bigger impact than the usual word vomit I create.