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Neopoem Of The Week February 26th to March 4th 2023
Smokescreen
Inhale, exhale, the smoke surrounds,
A moment's respite, a fleeting pleasure found.
The rush of nicotine, the calming of nerves,
A brief escape, a temporary curve.
But what of the cost, the toll it takes?
This dance with fate, what's truly at stake?
The slow decay, the damage wrought,
From each inhale, the life we've brought.
A paradoxical act, a twisted game,
To indulge in what may cause our pain.
The empty promises, the lies it's taught,
A temporary high, a lifetime lost.
The smoke, a veil, a foggy shroud,
Obscuring the truth, a tempting cloud.
But in this act, we must be wise,
Or risk sealing our own demise.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Sen99
2 years 4 months ago
Rhymes not Free verse in notes
Smoking has been banned here in public places : bars, pubs, cafes, public transport, trains for a few years but there are those for whom nicotine is a pleasure, even after vaping, they go back to tobacco. Your poem them is good, pacing and logic the rhymes build nicely to the ending, a health dilemma, thanks for share