Dreams On the wayside

A poem of pain and loss which touches the heart. I'm not sure about the title, as it doesn't quite reflect the poem. Maybe something like: Disquieting Dreams? The subject matter is good and the poem holds the readers interest until the ending. Suggestion: I think the word unforfilled should be unfulfilled. favorite lines:

another loss, there is no wayside
where you can fall
a yoke is carried like a torch
and time is vast like space

always, Cat

hello again , interesting write, I like this stanza

another loss, there is no wayside
where you can fall
a yoke is carried like a torch
and time is vast like space"

"hope and dreams lost
to abandoned thoughts................I was thinking hopes and dreams,
good to read you have a good weekend ,,,,,,,,,zigs

This poem hits me hard this morning and I will return to it. Please check the word hurled and my only thought to a title here is Battered Dream or Broken Dream

Just a thought or two

Love Mona

I thought you asked about suggest to title you leave as is and it is good honey

Blessings
Mona

empty and unfulfilled
these hands
which once held dreams
so tight

The last part just grabs me, and I must admit, I've always been a sucker for the feel of romantic regret in writing. It's not everyone that can convey that with enough intensity; almost a serene sense of sorrow, and I applaud that you can.

Well done, and never stop writing

Yours

Waldo

a bit late on arrival . Too often that which we long to keep closest slips from our over tight grasp. A well thought out poem which had such smooth flow I kept looking for rhyme. I saw a few spots that I might have done something different but it would not have been an improvement only different.................stan PS avoid viewing yourself as a niche writer as you might limit yourself