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Mar 22, 2023
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FOR MY FRIEND'S SAKE
See, this morning just felt different
I walked to the balcony and looked to the east
And was met by magnificence
I heard the music in the morning breeze
And saw the magic in the sunshine
I listened to the song of the bluebird
And my heart whispered a response in song
To be alive, brother
My heart said to the bird
Simply being alive
Is a wonderful thing
See a year ago my friend hanged himself
For his sake I celebrate life
Even the mere drawing of breath
The filling of lungs with air
Something he will never do again
Every afternoon I go outside
To watch the clouds roll in from the south
Majestic against the blue of the sky
I may not have lived many years
But this is the most beautiful thing
I have laid my eyes on so far
Every month I wait for the full moon
The silent queen of the night
I have told her of all my troubles
And she has soothed my heart every time
For many years now
See, I am still here
Against all odds
This itself is a miracle
But I will dance in the rain and lie on the grass
For my friend's sake
I will live
A. SWANTALALA
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The anniversary of his death is coming up, and I guess I've just been been thinking about him in the background. I miss him dearly. God...
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Leslie
2 years 3 months ago
Your words...
your words cause me to feel as if I am walking in a lite, cool gentle rain. Very refreshing Great job once again!
Thank you!
Leslie
2 years 3 months ago
Your gift...
has truly blessed my life, simply wonderful. Thank you.
Trail
2 years 3 months ago
Thanks John
I've learnt these past few days that art really is a means of self expression. It's these kind words of yours that have helped me find my footing after a really dark episode. I'm writing a lot more and getting better and I only hope to keep improving both my craft and my mental state. I'm really thankful to have come across you and your kindness
Geezer
2 years 3 months ago
I too...
have recently lost a friend. He was taken by cancer in a matter of months. He lived right next door, and we shared a love for
many things together. Especially gardening. Now comes the Spring and I am wondering if I have the heart to continue to plant and maintain a garden without him. I know that I will at least attempt it. Thank you for sharing your work here with us. It gives me heart to continue. Your title is good, your language is as good. I felt your logic pull this whole thing together in a theme that flowed smoothly from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
.
Trail
2 years 3 months ago
This is the beauty of art
I wrote this piece expressing my own pain, but it speaks to you too in a way. I hope for your friend's sake you continue gardening and find the strength to remember him and smile at the memories. Thank you for the positive words, and stay strong.
Leslie
2 years 2 months ago
This poem,
just one of many that show your calm, peaceful inward thoughts. I feel them like silk pass
through, while gently calming and soothing my tired eyes!