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Mar 26, 2023
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Thorns
The paper skin
Has bled its regrets.
Thousands of red dykes
Burst from the bramble infantry
Have dried.
Though Wind
Still blows through the holes.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
RoseBlack
2 years 3 months ago
Hi Kyle
I really like this. I like how you use thorns to describe how fragile we are and how we bleed our emotions. My only suggestion would be to change the word "the" to "its" in the line "Burst from the bramble infantry." I especially like that line. Makes me think of being caught in a rose bush and being stuck with its many thorns. Good job.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 3 months ago
Astounded
Amazing job poet. Every word hits the mark.
Tim
Ruby Lord
2 years 3 months ago
Thorns
Loved this poem. Your use of symbolism and metaphor is perfection, and I am envious of your talent. Well done, Ruby x