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Tongue

It is gone.
That pink and red muscle
Dissolved like candy
In its own fluids.
Or a curled pillbug
Surrendered to sleep indefinite
By the lottery box.
How it yowls
Cold from the living room
And severs from me
My child,
Rage.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Pennsylvania

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath , Edgar Alan Poe

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 3 months ago

I'm not sure...

of the theme here. It could be the parent is really tired of the child's teething pains or maybe even resentful of the baby,
"How it yowls
cold from the living room
and severs from me
My child,
Rage

The language use is very effective in describing the tongue, and the sleep indefinite, a lottery box intending to show the baby sleeps on it's own schedule. All-in-all, a good use of language to give a good description of the mood.
~ Geezer.
.

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Tongue

Hello, Kyle,
While reading this, I thought of the expression "Watch your tongue." It feels like loss of control and the regret in letting rage get the better. I am curious and intrigued. Very descriptive.
Thank you!
Lavender