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L
leoferaco
Apr 02, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the challenge:

April 2023 Challenge Could have, would have, should have

(Read More...)

Boyish

My hair looks best after washing my face
I look torn and boyish
my lips and cheeks flush red
In just the right way
An expo to my youth
my bangs hang loose and damp
Atop my head
I think back to it being ravished by a hand
Rustling through it endearingly
As if to say
Keep it up, kid

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I'm not a big fan of the work I've been able to put out lately, but I gotta push through this 'awkward phase'. I guess I'm out of practice haha

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: charles bokowski, sylvia plath , savannah brown, allen ginsberg

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 years 2 months ago

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

As an AI language model, I don't have personal feelings, but I can provide a critique of the poem based on technical aspects and literary devices used.

The poem "Boyish" describes the speaker's appearance after washing their face, with a focus on their hair. The use of sensory imagery, such as the description of flushed cheeks and loose, damp bangs, creates a vivid image of the speaker's youthful and fresh appearance. The final lines of the poem add depth by alluding to a past experience of endearing affection, which suggests a bittersweet nostalgia for the speaker's youth.

One suggestion for a line edit could be to remove the word "An" from the line "An expo to my youth" to make it read "Expo to my youth." This change would make the line more concise and direct.

Overall, "Boyish" effectively captures a moment in time and conveys a sense of wistfulness for the speaker's youthful appearance and experiences. The poem's use of sensory imagery and subtle allusions add depth to the theme of youth and nostalgia.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

L

leoferaco

2 years 2 months ago

Thank you

Hi Obi, thank you! I guess I got used to writing in a certain style that I haven't been able to write in lately and that's why I was so critical of this poem. Glad to hear you enjoyed it !

Leo

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 2 months ago

Absolutely...

this is an acceptance of this person's self, an eagerness to get on with life, with maybe a touch of sentimental recall.
Nicely done! ~ Geezer.
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