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May 03, 2023
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week Contest April 30th To May 6th 2023
Stalking Wolf
In this the baying of the wolf
By the light of the shiny moon
It's howl sends shivers
Rippling through my bones.
A sudden snap of a single twig
As the wolf creeps ever near
Its nostrils sniff silently
Sensing fear hung air.
A rush of air as the wolf leaps
My intake or the gust of wolf?
It missed a beat
As it sailed past
A grateful sigh escapes, for this act of luck
And a racing beat comes from within
Thumping so loudky
As I fear for its return.
As I wait patiently for Wolf to vanish
I fear my beating heart may be my fall
And then a curdling scream
Breaks from my lips
As I turn to see it standing there
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 years 1 month ago
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Stalking Wolf" captures the tension and fear that comes with being stalked by a predator. The imagery of the wolf's baying and howling under the shiny moon sets the eerie tone for the poem. The use of sensory language, such as the shivers rippling through bones and the sensing of fear hung air, effectively creates a visceral experience for the reader.
However, there are a few areas where the poem could benefit from some minor revisions. In the line "It missed a beat," it is unclear whether the speaker or the wolf missed a beat, so adding a pronoun after "It" would clarify this. Additionally, the line "Wishing u could still my beating heart" could be revised to "Wishing I could still my beating heart" to improve the grammatical structure of the sentence.
Overall, "Stalking Wolf" is a well-crafted poem that successfully creates a sense of unease and danger. With a few minor edits, it could become an even stronger piece of writing.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact