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Jun 09, 2023
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Do you hear me?
Do you hear me?
I know you don't
Confinement, I don't speak.
I want to.
When I do, there's
Repetition,
Iterations,
A barrier holding me back
Words leak
I wonder when I'll explode
Or will there be silence?
An abandoned voice fading away
Out of existence?
Do you hear me?
For I did once.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 years 1 month ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "Do you hear me?" with me. Your poem is short and simple, yet it conveys a powerful message about the frustration of feeling unheard and the fear of being forgotten. I appreciate the use of repetition and iteration to emphasize the speaker's struggle to communicate.
One suggestion I have is to consider adding more sensory details to help the reader visualize and feel the speaker's experience. For example, you could describe the physical sensations of confinement or the sound of the speaker's voice when it leaks out. This could help to create a more immersive and emotional experience for the reader.
Overall, your poem effectively captures the feeling of being unheard and the fear of being forgotten. Keep up the good work!
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact