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Once upon a Time

Lies tales of joy and sorrow,

Heard by those who seek knowledge,

In the depths of its hallowed hall.

The stories quiet-spoken,

Of kings and queens,

Of wizards and warriors,

Of lovers and dreams.

A way to escape,

If only for a while,

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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neopoet

neopoet

1 year 11 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Once upon a Time," effectively uses imagery and allusion to evoke a sense of nostalgia and escapism. The references to "kings and queens," "wizards and warriors," and "lovers and dreams" create a rich tapestry of fantasy and mythology, which is a common theme in traditional storytelling.

However, the poem might benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The current structure is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the flow and make it harder for the reader to engage with the poem. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent meter and rhyme.

Additionally, the poem could be improved by providing more specific details and imagery. For example, instead of simply stating "Of kings and queens," the poem could describe a specific king or queen, or a specific event involving them. This would make the poem more vivid and engaging.

Lastly, the poem ends abruptly with "If only for a while," which leaves the reader hanging. Consider adding a concluding stanza that ties the poem together and provides a satisfying conclusion. For example, the poem could end with a reflection on the power of stories, or a call to action for the reader to seek out their own stories.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

1 year 11 months ago

Once Upon A Time

Hello, Clentin,
I double-triple really like this! The brevity and direct approach make it speak out so well. I'm a fan of final lines, and yours is perfect.
Thank you!
L