Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Timbo
Timbo
Apr 13, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Lifetime of Love

How quickly the time has passed
since the day you became my wife.
After all this time it feels as though
we’ve been together all of my life.
They have been mostly good years
the difficulties have been few.
And the best thing I have ever done
is to fall in love with you.

Now we have reached a special time
a celebration of a lifetime together.
We just want our life and love
to go on and just last forever.
You know how much I love you
and what you mean to me.
So I just want to wish you now
a happy anniversary.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Ruby Wedding

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Favorite Poets: Rather than poets I tend to be influenced by songwriters and have a love of lyrics.

More from this author

Comments

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 3 months ago

Tim

Congrats!!
please let me suggest something, with no major change.
In the first stanza you used AB good, but you need to remove the second life
In the the second stanza the AB sounds forced or strained, it loses the flow of the first stanza. which is strong. think about if you want to, this is your write not mine. so I might see it differently. it is a heart warming write, I'm sure your lovely wife enjoyed it
Eddie C.

Timbo

Timbo

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Shirley, It is a new poem

Hi Shirley, It is a new poem written today and I've just done a second edit which I hope has made it better?
Eddie's prompt for me to have a rethink has helped me make it better, I hope!
take care,
Tim

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 3 months ago

Tim

Please don't be upset, this is good or rather better
But maybe these to lines might give it a little more,
like this
"We just want our life and love - We just want our love and life
to go on and just last forever." - To carry on forever and ever

The to evers give more imphasis on the life and love,
the just is for me like a place to stop in love
and I do believe that is your intention here.
Use it if you want or not, what you have now is very good
Eddie C.

S

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hello

Congrats. I never critique poems written to loved one on such occasions, just bask in the joy of them..........scribbler

CCfire

CCfire

14 years 3 months ago

Congratulations

I would never crit a poem when it's one of celebration and love such as this, I am sure she will love it.

M

magics02

14 years 1 month ago

Stumbled here

Hello Tim I have not seen you in a long while. Probably minding my other business lol

I really like this poetic write to your wife. No crit here for this is personal and heartfelt.

I do feel it though and I know this is a genuine write. Great job

Miss talking to you

Love
Mona

Timbo

Timbo

14 years 1 month ago

Hi Mona,

Hi Mona,
Lovely to hear from you,
Many thanks,
Tim

V

vexations10

14 years 1 month ago

Ah, glad to see

you writing about such a time for the two of you. I link to follow you. I hope you don’t mind.

loved

loved

13 years 7 months ago

lovely poem

just remember,
if you may,
the sojourn is more pleasant,
than the destination
always..