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Neopoem Of The Week August 27th to September 1st 2023
After Everything
After Everything
(apologies to e e cummings and thanks to ern malley)
since felicity is first amongst the faculties
it wilt never
need you
to beam a fool’s gold
west of wyoming
when spring-time is in the World Series
my blood-hound aqua-planes, and kisses aren’t a better father-land
than wishes
undignified i sweep by all irregularities
(don’t crypto-analyse this)
—the best geyser of my brain-storm (sprung unheeded)
is less than
your eye-strain’s flutter - which scalds
no - we aren’t fit for each other:
perhaps i’ll launch,
(leaning back in my arm-chair)
to understand
life’s not a poetry construction
and a death-mask is no pariah.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 10 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
1 year 10 months ago
Hi Stuart
Welcome to Neopoet! I am sending this is a poem about a relationship gone bad. The language was a bit rough but did invoke strong emotions of what felt like disgust and perhaps some sadness mixed in. I think with some polishing, this will be a very effective poem. Well done for your first entry here.
StuartKing
1 year 10 months ago
Life's uncertainty.
This poem is a surrealist vision of an unconsummated love affair.
RoseBlack
1 year 10 months ago
Understood
Well done for your first piece on here. I look forward to seeing more.