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Isabel Agatha
Isabel Agatha
Oct 01, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week October 1st to October 7th 2023 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Near L.A

I gazed upon the mirror,
And saw flashing cameras,

New age, new world, new order,
Prada, Versace, Dolce and Gabbana,

Iconic like you one day,
Sipping on Moët

Daydreaming on a yacht
Somewhere, probably near LA.

The flickering sunlight,
Which beamed and gleamed,
Was in fact
The square bulbed mirror,

A broken fluorescent-

And you're just an adolescent,
In an old market town,

Wearing someone's hand-me-downs,
Like everyone else
In this monotonous town.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A short poem based on how when we are young, we dream big and want change, designer clothes and leisure. only a select few have the opportunity to be “iconic one day” , and only a few are born into class and wealth. I imagine this poem from the perspective of a late teen whose glamour and hope is squashed by the unfairness of society, and of course reality.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: united kingdom

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

1 year 9 months ago

I certainly...

can relate to this one. I am now 75 years old and other than obtaining a modicum of celebrity amongst my peers and family,
have never achieved the so-called "fame" and trappings of my imagined wealth. I wish you well and sincerely hope that you achieve your goals. I would change the line: "In an old market town", to read [marketplace]; where your worth is determined?
and it does not clash with the rhyme scheme. Of course, you may reject my suggestion and substitute your own answer.
~ Geezer.
.

Lavender

Lavender

1 year 9 months ago

Near L. A.

Hello, Isabel,
You've hit the mark with this. Human nature in all of us, especially when we are young. Funny how these things no longer seem so important as you age. Really like the reference to the "broken fluorescent." Very genuine poetry!
Lavender