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Oct 17, 2023
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This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week October 15th To October 21st 2023
Sparrow Blues
My tattooed babe is blue.
The world to him was a hullabaloo.
I try to sweep in, my sparrow blue,
But my baby withdrew
As quick as morning dew.
He's unwilling to unscrew
To open and trust.
And for me that's a must,
A concept he can't cusp,
Pick up or even make up.
My babe is blue
While he asks for twos,
Smoking his problems
Singing the blues.
My baby is blue indeed,
Playing guitar, my Lou reed.
But can’t he see?
My love for him is true,
It’s true.
And don’t you leave me feeling
Blue by you.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: a short quick poem based around the colour blue and how it can be personified. Blue can often mean sad when described as a person but in juxtaposition, blue sparrows are often a sign of true love. Blue sparrows also gained popularity during the war amongst sailors as good luck symbols when tattooed.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments