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Nov 01, 2023
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murmuration
sometimes
i watch
starlings
gather
on power lines
first, just a few
and soon hundreds
side by side
symmetrical
quiet, waiting
until, as if
a perfect note
trembles beneath
their wings
they lift in flight
like so many ribbons
in a ballet
swirling to the left
soaring upwards
returning to center
resting when it's time to rest
then rising, like a symphony
inspired to fly...
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This phenomenon has always tugged at my heart.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Clentin Martin
2 years 5 months ago
The title I found to be a
The title I found to be a great title. I had to look it up and found that it defines the gathering of starlings.
Good poem, great title. It makes one think!
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Hello, Clentin,
Watching this elegant occurrence has always intrigued me.
Thank you for reading!
L
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Something
I used to sit and watch when outside or in my parents pool. I often wondered what they were doing on those wires or poles and what they were thinking or talking about with each other. I love the form you used for this. The pauses gave the reader time to think about each stanza and what was happening. Great work!
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Hello, Carrie,
Yes! I've wondered what they were thinking about, too. I wanted to leave off punctuation and stay with lowercase to keep it as light as possible, and give space between thoughts. Thank you for reading!
L
M4GG0TM3NT4L
2 years 5 months ago
interesting,,
i really like the formatting in the stanzas. your use of language is very pretty, and makes me think vividly of a swan, if that makes sense. pretty simple over all (thats not a bad thing). i look forward to reading more of your work!
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Hello, Soph,
Thoughts of a swan - lovely! I was hoping the poem was graceful and simple, much like the beautiful flight of the starlings.
Thank you for reading and sharing such kind words,
L