What You're Doing to Me

Would you miss me
If I disappeared today
Would it even matter
If I let it end this way

When I was a small child
I cried and cried for you
Guess not much changed
I always did, and I still do

Even after everything I've done
Still trying to get your attention
I might as well give up now
Because that's a lifelong mission

You say that you do love me
You say you would die for me
Instead you only see through
All I'm begging for you to see

God, I wish I could stop trying
Just accept that I don't matter
But when I admit it, all you do
Is hug me tight and try to flatter

I get it, ten years is a long time
I understand that you're older
But siblings are supposed to
Be more than a place holder

So I pour out the pain I feel
With my pen I plant this seed
Tears fall onto my keyboard
As I type what you'll never read

I'm trying to make you understand
That I just want you to look and see
I may act fine, but you'll never know
The pain of what you're doing to me