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Dec 10, 2023
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Buried in sand
The golden roman shaped shield
like a disc above glinting
Like a polished coin Punching the
Sky waking it up. The Feathered
snipered hungry cadaver eyes circling
Watching as I look above. crys of
Starvation. Below the scorching
Powdered Devils sauna
The air as dry as dust
My body already claimed
Like I signed my soul over
To hell and to gold dust
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 6 months ago
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