Lost and Found

She was talking about a time
when she had a few too many,
and had no idea where she was.
In a dark alley, exposed and vulnerable.

Her youth speaking, shrugging away the danger
she was in that night, but with the insight of reflection
said, “We all get lost at some point in our lives.
Places where even the wind is afraid to go.”

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

1 year 6 months ago

I like...

your title, the theme is good and the beginning and end were excellent.
Seeing as you have ended the next to last line with a full stop, [period]
I would give the last line some type of direction such as: when, where, or what.

[There are] some places even the wind is afraid to go. ~ Geez.
.

Michael Anthony

1 year 6 months ago

Thanks Geez! Not sure I

Thanks Geez! Not sure I understand your comment about the last line though. I have used the word "where" in it.

Best

Geezer

1 year 6 months ago

I was thinking...

more like it was such a loose connection to the line before.
"We all get lost at some point in our lives."
The next line: "Places where even the wind is afraid to go" puts us at odds with where is that point?

It is as if one says:
I always make mistakes.
Two errors are never a good thing.

What errors am I referring to?

I'm hoping that the way I've said it this time, that it makes better sense.
~ Geez.
.

Michael Anthony

1 year 6 months ago

Ahh, I see. I was trying to

Ahh, I see. I was trying to convey the "place" as being the danger, physical (the alley), and perhaps mental (places even the wind...), many of us have placed ourselves in when youth suggests we are invulnerable. Seems clear to me, but we all get different things from the poems we read. Thanks, as always, for sharing your thoughts Mr. Geez!

Best

Ruby Lord

1 year 6 months ago

I liked the way your poem

I liked the way your poem drew me in and conjured the emotion needed to tell this tale. I remember when I was younger and the risks I took. Your poem made me recall some of those situations. Great job, Ruby :) xx