Candlewitch

Dec 27, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Around The Globe Anthology

(Read More...)

Haven

Neopoet Around The World Anthology
12 to 32 Lines any style

Haven
(what Neopoet means to me)

Neopoet is a community of poets who come from all over,
to not only post their own poems but to read other poet's
work. We are a group that offer critique to help us all
improve our writing skills and learn new ways! Long
lasting friendships have been forged here. The kind that
are interactive, warm and rewarding...Neopoet is my haven!

*Haven

Bringing me coffee, he lights the fire
while I lounge in my favorite easy chair.
With my laptop open, browser set on Neopoet
I relax "letting down my long hair"

First thing I do is a "message check"
next on my agenda is to go to the stream,
eager to find out who has posted that morn.
A buffet of my family/friends my "Home Team."

I have been a premium member for over ten years
they call me a benefactor because of my care.
The truth is I love Neopoet because it loves me back
the relationship, reciprocal, quite balanced, this affair.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

1 year 6 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Haven" effectively communicates the sense of community and camaraderie that the writer feels as part of the Neopoet group. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved for greater impact and clarity.

Firstly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent meter. The inconsistent rhythm can be jarring and disrupts the flow of the poem. For instance, the second stanza has a smoother rhythm than the first and third, which could be adjusted for consistency.

Secondly, the poem could use more vivid and specific imagery. While the poem does a good job of conveying the writer's feelings about the Neopoet community, it could be more engaging if it painted a more detailed picture of what being a part of this community looks like. For example, instead of simply stating "A buffet of my family/friends my 'Home Team,'" the writer could describe specific interactions or experiences that encapsulate this feeling.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the writer's relationship with Neopoet. The final lines "The truth is I love Neopoet because it loves me back / the relationship is mutual, an assessment that is fair" are a bit simplistic and could be expanded upon to give a deeper understanding of why the writer values this community.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates the writer's feelings about the Neopoet community, but could be improved with more consistent rhythm, vivid imagery, and a deeper exploration of the writer's relationship with Neopoet.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Ruby Lord

1 year 6 months ago

Really good Cat. Ruby :) xx

Candlewitch

1 year 6 months ago

Hello Ruby,

I am not done with it yet. I think I need to work on it a bit. Thank you for reading and commenting!

*love, Cat

RoseBlack

1 year 6 months ago

Really good

Can't wait to see what you may add to it but this is a really good start. We have a great family here on Neo and I am glad for all of you.

Candlewitch

1 year 6 months ago

Dear Carrie,

Thank you for your support. You are one of my favorites and one of the best!

*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

1 year 6 months ago

As you are

One of my favorites and best...also a very good friend. I am so glad to have met you on here.

Candlewitch

1 year 6 months ago

DITTO!!!

Thank you so much for giving me this big goofy grin I am wearing!

*many hugs, Cat

Sen99

1 year 5 months ago

Welcome back home

It is a haven for creative minds
But I've not been able to log in for 3 months!
Maybe the site doesn't want me, still was able to comment on your fine effort.

Candlewitch

1 year 5 months ago

Hello Sen99,

Are you having computer problems or otherwise? thank you for reading my words. Have a good Winter!

*hugs, Cat