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stillife
i wonder if memory
finds a way to say thank you
when leaving cities
romantically inclined to
the summation of a smile
when he was tousled,
unkempt and his skin
felt like the gravel beach
we walked at evening
when he tried to explain
how the cosmos was heaven
and he had claims for entry
because he said prayers
quietly alone
what stuck was
a sturdy set of hands
until whiskey made them shake
the man became the boy
lost for a moment in dark doors
and a mind that closed itself
when i mentioned life was all we had
the lily felt more sacred
than the cheek that wept for him
laying in his blue serge
skin like wax fruit
in his mothers kitchen
she asked me
'how do you love someone
you hardly know?'
'with everything you do'
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 3 months ago
Chez
that's a hard situation to content with, can love be enough or do you have to say enough?.
A wonderful heart stirring write.
Bravisima!
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
A pretty insular person this
A pretty insular person this one so sometimes words are debated instead of accepted
Marie Marshall
14 years 3 months ago
*
Repays several readings.
M
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
Thanks Marie :)
Thanks Marie :)
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
Xena, it is someone I've
Xena, it is someone I've known a while and truly didn't know at all which is somewhat like what his family describe, that's why it is written that way.
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
Sorry Ian
Net problems downunder...thanks for the read, I am glad you liked this one.
Nordic cloud
14 years 2 months ago
Oh this is terrific Chez
It just is, I have no complaints.
LuvAnn
CCfire
14 years 2 months ago
Yes Ann, sometimes it just
Yes Ann, sometimes it just is :)