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Jan 22, 2024
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Apologies
I was only looking out
the best I could,
to those of you
who misunderstood.
Speaking seems to do more harm,
but silence shouldn't be the only way,
The struggle within,
pulling me apart again
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 5 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Apologies" presents an emotionally charged narrative that is relatable to many readers. The themes of misunderstanding, communication, and internal struggle are effectively conveyed through the use of simple, direct language.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter to enhance its musicality. For instance, the second stanza has a different rhythm compared to the first and third stanzas. Establishing a consistent rhythm could improve the flow and readability of the poem.
Additionally, the use of imagery could be expanded to create a more vivid and engaging experience for the reader. While the phrase "The struggle within, pulling me apart again" effectively conveys a sense of internal conflict, incorporating more concrete images or metaphors could deepen the reader's understanding and emotional connection to this struggle.
The poem could also benefit from a more developed exploration of its themes. While the themes of misunderstanding and internal struggle are introduced, they are not fully explored or resolved. Providing more context or elaboration could add depth and complexity to the poem's narrative.
Lastly, the poem's title, "Apologies," suggests a tone of regret or contrition, but this tone is not clearly reflected in the poem itself. Revisiting the title to ensure it accurately reflects the poem's content and tone could improve its overall coherence and impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
I'm not sure...
that this is a poem, but I do understand the sentiment. Sometimes, it is very hard to remain quiet, when you don't know what speaking out will do. You get stars just for the thought. ~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
I'm not sure
What this is either. Just a blurb if there is such a thing with a few sentiments mixed in. I am not sure if holding things in is always good but speaking makes you look bad or attention seeking. Struggling with some of these things and that little blurb popped out.
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
Sometimes...
it is true, speaking out can make it look like you are looking for attention, I don't see you as that type of person. I think that anything that you say, is in hope of easing somebody's pain or a difficult situation. ~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
It is
I am not even sure where that blurb came from.
Lavender
1 year 5 months ago
Apologies
Hello, Carrie,
I have read and reread this several times. I believe it is so thought-provoking. May I play with it a bit to show you how it speaks to me using only the first two lines?
I was only looking out
the best I could,
to those of you
who misunderstood.
An apology with a bit of flare. Maybe not what you were going for, but this still makes me pause and think. Really like the title.
Thank you!
L
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
I like this
I like the way you reworked it. I will make the changes. Thank you for your read and comment. I am glad you liked it and that it made you think.
Lavender
1 year 5 months ago
Hi, Carrie,
I really like your revision!
L
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
Thank you
And thank you for the help!
Lavender
1 year 5 months ago
Most welcome...
always!
L
Candlewitch
1 year 5 months ago
Dear Carrie,
ouch...I know this feeling so very well. I am glad that you published this.
*hugs, Cat
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
Thank you Cat
I knew you would understand