Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jan 25, 2024
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Moon Dancer
"Can people dance on the moon, Mother?"
"Maybe, but they probably want to avoid the craters there."
"But would the holes on the moon be lonesome?"
"They might be Honey; they’ve been there a very long time."
“Mother, will you be here as long as the holes on the moon?”
“I don’t think so. I suppose you’re right about the holes there.”
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Fooling around with some whimsy, inspired by a photo I found on the interwebs. Not sure it worked, but...
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
1 year 5 months ago
Moon Dancer
Hello, Michael,
I'm not certain of the intent, but this reminded me of the way I felt when, as a fairly young child, I realized my parents would some day no longer be there. I cried myself to sleep many nights, for a while. The curiosity of children sometimes leads to some very deep questions. Very cool poem. Beautiful title which adds to the innocence of the moment.
Thank you,
L
Michael Anthony
1 year 5 months ago
Reading your comments L, I
Reading your comments L, I was very happy that the context of my poem was discernable. Your comments are where my head was at when I wrote this - thank you!
Best
Leslie
1 year 5 months ago
Michael Anthony
My first reaction was one of interest. It seemed that the child's understanding was expanded in a good way. After reading Lavender's reply I changed my mind. Nonetheless I think it's a brilliant idea and poem.
Michael Anthony
1 year 5 months ago
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece Leslie!
Best