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Jokerface82
Jokerface82
Apr 26, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly Contest 04/21/24 to 04/27/24

(Read More...)

WHITE WHIPS

A flash of lightning illuminating a
golden staircase and forks with violent
Snaps splitting the dome of vastness
Knifing through the cold blackness

Jumping from the black mamba clouds
Then targeting with wild cracks and
Whips splitting the sky in half
With white sparks

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

More from this author

Comments

T

tyro

1 year 1 month ago

so visual, so precise. and it

so visual, so precise. and it had a cadence I could easily follow.
I particularly like, " splitting the dome of vastness"
I feel I am there seeing this happen.

great poem; it is highly evocative, and it has been said that pure poetry has no unnecessary words.