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Jun 08, 2024
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Magic
A falling star settled on my rose,
a diamond dipped in velvet clothes.
I dared not touch the pure gift
sent from heaven, so swift,
but let it rest there
in such sweet air
and comply
to my
wish.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A rhyming nonet.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
tyro
1 year 1 month ago
yes, it is magic, and pure
yes, it is magic, and pure beauty in a way, that it was not immediately touched, but simply admired for its beauty, brings in into the spiritual realm. Great image here. Fully enjoyed reading it.
Tyro
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Tyro,
I'm so glad you felt the spiritual essence here, and I'm happy that you enjoyed this!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.
L
Rula
1 year 1 month ago
An amazing nonet
Line two has one beat more to make it a full nonet but it's en easy fix.
The fact that it rhymes makes it a real beauty.
Your magic shows clearly dear Lavender.
Very elegant as always
Thank you for sharing.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, My Friend!
Thank you for your lovely comments. I'm wondering if you are speaking of the number of syllables in "diamond." Some variants state 3, others state 2 syllables. I myself use 2 syllables: dia-mond. Please let me know if it's something else. I always appreciate your helping me with my work as I know you are a devoted fan of structured poetry.
Thank you, as always!
Lx
Rula
1 year 1 month ago
Sorry
dear Lavender.
My fault indeed. Yes, I count 3 syllables in diamond.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Funny...
how some words can be pronounced differently. I am just tickled that you spend time with my work. I am always grateful!
Lxxx
Clentin
1 year 1 month ago
Really liked your poem. Magic
Really liked your poem. Magic it is!
Liked the form as well.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Clentin!
I am so happy that you enjoyed this. Structured poetry can be so fulfilling, and fun! I appreciate your time and comments!
L
RoseBlack
1 year 1 month ago
Love this
So simple and sweet yet absolutely captivating. I can see the little star sitting on a rose. Simple imagery says so much. Well done.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Carrie,
It was intended to be a brief passing moment, just about how long it takes to make a wish.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!
Lx
Carrie
1 year ago
Hi Lavender
Saw this won, congratulations! :)
- Carrie
Lavender
1 year ago
Hello, Carrie,
Thank you so much! I appreciate it!
L
Words Ablaze
1 year ago
wow L
the poem on its own is beyond impressive, poetic innovation truly.
And to write it in that shortening line stunt is just showing off haha. Love it
W.
Lavender
1 year ago
Hello, W!
You are very kind! (A challenge is always a blast.)
Thank you for reading!
L
Wallyroo92
7 months 4 weeks ago
Magic
What a wonderful, visually rich piece, magical and surreal.
Awesome spill.
W
Lavender
7 months 3 weeks ago
Hello, W,
This was a lot of fun!
Thank you for reading!
L
Clentin
6 months 3 weeks ago
Really liked the form.
Really liked the form.
Lavender
6 months 3 weeks ago
Hello, Clentin!
Thank you, and Happy New Year!
L
Michael Anthony
6 months 1 week ago
Hi L,
Hi L,
Lovely piece! I have no talent for rhyming or structured poetry (as you probably know), so when a poet creates something beautiful in this way I am frequently amazed - well done and enjoyable read - thank you!
Best
Lavender
6 months 1 week ago
Hello, Michael,
This was a joy to write. You are a master of free verse, especially observation and narrative poetry, and I believe you should dip into the rhyming pool, too. I very much admire your work.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L
Michael Anthony
6 months ago
I don't know about being a
I don't know about being a master L, but you are very kind to offer that. Anytime I have a rhyme in a poem it's strictly an accident. I think I'll give it a try though just to see what I see with this sort of thing...
Best
Lavender
6 months ago
Hello, Michael,
I look forward to reading!
L