Neopoet Weekly 06/30/24 to 07/06/24 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Wood-smoke

We mellowed...
reclining by the camp fire
after a day of splashing,
swimming, and water games.

I shivered as
evening came in to surround us
with a cooling breeze.
Your fisherman knit sweater
you placed about my shoulders,
staved off a slight chill.

Your glittering orbs
held me intoxicated.
As I felt the last of
the sun's rays
leach out of the sand

Quietly exchanging daydreams,
I noticed, wood-smoke, was
the color of your smiling eyes!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Candlewitch

11 months 3 weeks ago

I will work on it...

I just dropped in for a couple of seconds...I will work on it later, thanks, Cat

Candlewitch

11 months 3 weeks ago

Sweet Rula,

thank you for your suggestions ;) I am going to work on it! I am glad to have you for a reader!

*hugs, Cat

Unca Fez

11 months 3 weeks ago

A Composite of Many Memories

The poem evokes a multitude of memories. There were many shared moments that are brought back to me as I read this. These memories bring a pleasant pause to my day. Thank you.

Candlewitch

11 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Steven,

I remember all the motorcycle trips we had...they carry me through when times are really bad. thank you so much for being You! *much love, your Cat

Lavender

11 months 3 weeks ago

Wood-Smoke

Hello, Cat!
How tender! I think we can all relate to this calming and soothing experience. The senses come alive here, and I am reminded of similar sweet bonfire memories.
Thank you!
L