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Jul 05, 2024
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Oh blue friend sky
Oh blue friend sky, where have you been?
Your perfect vision fills my heart with joy,
When dull and gloom is all I've seen.
Could that have been your purposeful ploy?
A hue that's reminiscent of postcard days,
Transports me back to sunnier places,
Speaks of fun-filled holidays.
When I looked at many happy,smiley, faces.
As I bask in the brilliance of the sun's glare.
And optimism consumes my hopeful mind,
I feel like I am without a single care,
Detached from all that's evil and unkind.
Your radiance is like a beacon of hope,
Oh perfect sky, without clouds of gloom.
Far-reaching therapeutic ways to cope,
Fill my heart with joy and push out the doom.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Oh blue friend sky" effectively conveys a sense of admiration and appreciation for the sky's beauty and its impact on the speaker's emotions. The imagery of the blue sky as a "friend" and a source of joy is vivid and engaging. The use of descriptive language like "perfect vision," "brilliance of the sun's glare," and "beacon of hope" enhances the emotional resonance of the poem.
One suggestion for improvement could be to further explore the emotional connection between the speaker and the sky. While the admiration and gratitude are clear, delving deeper into why the sky holds such significance for the speaker could add layers of complexity to the poem. Additionally, considering varying the structure or rhythm of the poem could help create a more dynamic flow and engage the reader even further.
Overall, the poem effectively captures the beauty and emotional impact of the sky, and further exploration of the speaker's relationship with the sky could enhance its depth and resonance.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
12 months ago
Oh, Blue Friend Sky
Hello, Tigger,
Cheerful and filled with hope. A lovely sentiment for trying times, which are plentiful and more often, it seems. A reminder of sunnier days and times - from the past, and hopefully the future.
Thank you!
L