The great escape!

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The great escape!" presents a narrative that is both intriguing and suspenseful. The use of imagery is quite effective, particularly in the lines "With the moon in his eyes" and "Down near the waterside in the pristine haze". These lines not only paint a vivid picture but also contribute to the overall mood of the poem.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The first four lines follow an AABB rhyme scheme, but this pattern is not maintained throughout the rest of the poem. Similarly, the rhythm varies from line to line, which can disrupt the flow of the poem.

The use of the term "maniacal maze" in the last line is somewhat ambiguous. If this is intended to convey the character's mental state, it might be more effective to use more concrete language to describe his experiences or emotions.

Finally, the line "Determined by doctors to be some sort of craze" is a bit unclear. If the doctors are diagnosing the character, it might be more accurate to say that they determined him to be suffering from a specific condition, rather than simply calling it a "craze".

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this poem reminds me of when my mother, a nurse, worked at Anoka State Hospital. Every now and then, especially when the moon was full, a patient would escape the facility. Take a run across the grounds for freedom. In this line:

"But on any give night," (given) see if that does not sound better?) good poem!

*hugs, Cat

Hello, Leslie,
Although the rhyme pattern is not exact, it seems close enough to me. I didn't feel any disruption. Unique topic that was enhanced by the rhythm and pace.
Thank you!
L

I enjoyed this. The flow gives it the urgency your man demonstrates in his escape and I thought the rhyme scheme was very effective.

This line needs a tweak for me:

a man tried to escape.

Perhaps try to rephrase it to show the reader what's happening instead of telling us the events before he escaped?

"A man made his escape" ?

Very well done, Ruby :) xx

I think you've got it perfect now by changing it to futile escape. This tells me so much more about the man and makes me ask the questions which are answered in the continuing stanzas. It's really good and I can't see anywhere else I would change it. Take care, Ruby :) xx