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Jul 14, 2024
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Christmas Blues
Christmas Blues
A bucket of water has more purpose than I.
I live, I breathe, though with a heavy sigh.
What is it that I am doing here
On this great and godless sphere?
This grand fest of immortal pain,
Oh I, some poor soul's greatest bane
I might not wish to go and find Death's lair.
Seek him out high and low, here and there,
But, were he to call my name
As loudly and as boldly as his own,
I might scream back an answer
With a near zealous tone!
Were he to come for my head
with bone-gripped scythe swinging,
He might just find my neck
Outstretched, ready and swooning.
And say it's all over and done for
and I'm finally no more.
Then you could all pretend
I was never once here before.
Forget then all that we used to share.
Erase it all like it was never there.
If I could take it all with me I would
Just so you never shed a single tear
for I who rues my first day here.
Then and only then would I truly be gone,
Absent in life and absent in thought
As if I was never born.
I alone would shed that tear,
For all that I never was
For all that I could have been.
For that there was my only real sin
and all the others that I did,
I did with a grin,
And I'd do again.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
11 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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RoseBlack
11 months 2 weeks ago
I see
A raw, honest self reflection within your poem. How often we question our purpose here and whether we should stay or go. I can feel your confusion, pain and regrets. Well done.
Words Ablaze
11 months 2 weeks ago
Yep, it was a dark day and
Yep, it was a dark day and poured it all here and to some extent I felt a weight lift from off my shoulders. You are right about this hard questions we keep asking ourselves, most of us do it more than we'd like to admit. Thank you for reading.
Lavender
11 months 2 weeks ago
Christmas Blues
The title brought me in, and I'm assuming it was a significant and hard Christmas Day. I feel the confusion in this, also. I see you have this listed as free verse, but it has quite a bit of rhyme. Because of its flow, this would be a powerful piece to read at an open mic event.
Thank you,
L
Words Ablaze
11 months 2 weeks ago
Yea the title is very
Yea the title is very significant you got that right. I said it was free verse but I included a certain level of rhyme in it but I really didn't put much thought into what kind of rhyme it was. I was very raw when I wrote this poem and felt it was necessary to fully embrace what I was feeling to understand it and get through it. Thank you for reading, always a pleasure. And oh man it would be epic to have it read and brought to life in front of a mic.