My Hero

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem demonstrates a strong emotional connection between the speaker and the subject, which is effectively conveyed through the use of intense, vivid imagery. The metaphor of pain imprisoning the sun and night stars is particularly striking, as it encapsulates the concept of emotional suffering obscuring the beauty and joy in life.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The line "Words seem like pocket change" could be developed further to clarify its meaning. Currently, it's unclear whether this is suggesting that words are trivial or valuable.

The poem could also benefit from a more consistent use of metaphors. For example, the poem begins with celestial imagery, then shifts to a metaphor of a storm, and later introduces the concept of a knight going to war. While each of these metaphors is effective in isolation, their combined use within the same poem can be disorienting for the reader.

The poem's rhythm and meter could also be refined. The variation in line length creates a somewhat disjointed rhythm, which may be intentional to reflect the speaker's emotional state, but could be distracting for some readers.

Lastly, the poem's conclusion could be strengthened. The final lines "If you need a shoulder, I'll give you two. These four walls know, There's nothing I wouldn’t do." are somewhat clichéd and do not match the originality and emotional depth of the preceding lines. A more unique and impactful ending could elevate the overall poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Very sweet and really heartfelt piece.
If you trimmed it all and kept the the last two stanzas, they stand for the poem and really satisfy.
I love you with
Every atom in my being.
You are a hero,
No matter what
Doubt tells you.

If you need a shoulder,
I'll give you two.
These four walls know,
There's nothing I wouldn’t do.

She must be really happy with these lines.
Very touching indeed.
Thank you for sharing.

your sweet poem of loving, really touched a chord in me. my favorite lines are:

Words seem like
Pocket change,
Still, I offer them.
Maybe for a moment,
They can offer
Shelter from the storm.

thank you for sharing this.
*hugs, Cat

Hello, Paul,
Wow.
While reading this, I feel your deep love, loyalty, and devotion to this person. But I am taken back with how deeply you have made me feel the pain this person is suffering - you took me directly there, as if I entered their room.
Thank you<
L

Thank you for sharing this Paul. One of our most human traits is that we so often find beauty amidst our pain. The second stanza is an amazing thing to read. My best to you and yours.