At War

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "At War" presents a vivid exploration of internal struggle, using metaphoric language to convey the speaker's emotional state. The use of imagery is strong, particularly in lines like "You must think / I am a park bench / That drunks use / As their summer home" and "A war that would / Make your worries / into action figures". These lines effectively communicate the speaker's feelings of being used and trivialized.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of metaphor. The transition from the metaphor of the elevator to the park bench to the war is somewhat abrupt and can be confusing for the reader. It might be more effective to choose one metaphor and develop it throughout the poem, allowing for a more coherent and in-depth exploration of the theme.

The line "So Mr. General / Come relieve / This soldier / That didn’t sign up / For this war" is a strong ending, as it directly addresses the reader and places them in the role of a potential savior. However, it might be more impactful if the poem built up to this appeal more gradually, perhaps by introducing the military metaphor earlier in the poem and developing it throughout.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of poetic devices. While the use of metaphor is strong, the poem lacks other devices such as rhyme, rhythm, and alliteration that could enhance its musicality and emotional impact. Consider experimenting with these devices to add another layer of complexity to the poem.

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is something that most of us fight in some measure everyday.
The metaphors of being stuck in an elevator, and being stuck in a war,
lets this piece show how frustrating the battles are.
I'm not sure that the park bench stanza is germaine to the poem, and adds anything to it.
Maybe try another metaphor?
~ Geez.
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