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(The man asked for 5 dollars, and his eyes...)
I already died once
Waiting for my father
To come up the steps and play Legos
He built me a ship once
And it still flies in my imagination
After
Five decades
Losing every dime at the table
I had to!
And, swallowing it down
With Gin and tonic
Whiskey and Vodka
Lines in the bathroom
Girls that never came home with me
Not even once.
Nick Cave knows all about it
Waiting, believing
That will suit me just fine
Ill curl up just like this
And let the cold air blow
Right in
I already died
Another hundred times after
The first
I can do it again
So slow
Ill set a record
So don’t you dare come around here
With your sweet smile
And try to stop me
I’ll turn my eyes down to the concrete
Then over to the horizon
Glaring between the buildings
Rising up at the ends of the streets
That’s my home now
I’ll just dance there
With all the girls
You ever saw
They’re real beauties
Over there
And sweet too
Somebody better write this shit down
Of course, sir. Good luck.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
10 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Leslie
10 months ago
captain2
I don't really know if this is about you or someone else,but I think iit's awesome. It has some themes in it that I like to write about. So tell me if you dont mind is this about you or someone else, probablt both.
captain 2
10 months ago
yes!
it's about both. I saw this guy who looked just like me on the street, and I superimposed my experiences into him. I felt this kind of empathy where I could totally see how this could happen to me, and I felt this need to write for him.
Thanks again for reading! I am a fan of yours also!
Best,
Captain
Candlewitch
10 months ago
Dear Captain,
these are my favorite lines of your poem:
Nick Cave knows all about it
Waiting, believing
That will suit me just fine
Ill curl up just like this
And let the cold air blow
Right in
I already died
Another hundred times after
The first
I can do it again
So slow
Ill set a record
They resonate with me as I know about those mini deaths that just keep on coming! each time, something is left behind...
much respect, Cat
Leslie
9 months 3 weeks ago
captain2
PLEASE READ MY MMOST RECENT POST.
captain 2
9 months 3 weeks ago
HI!
I sure will! give me a few days to read and absorb. I cant wait! thanks