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Sep 07, 2024
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Flame
it was a beautiful flame
and it had to burn
the paper with our names
it had to wash away
each side of the coin shall always remain
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Geezer
9 months 4 weeks ago
I was...
drawn to this but wish that you had added a little more to the scenario. I got a flash of a relationship gone bad, but not why or
how, although the last line, suggests that personality issues were at hand. No matter, I appreciate the minimalist write as much as anyone but need a bit more to work with. Can you flesh it out, just a bit? You have a good base; I am sure that you will see what I mean. ~ Geezer.
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