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GRANDIOSE MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN

There stood a majestic
Craggy face with razor blade
Edges of a monstrous
time honoured mountain

Turning its rocky nose up
at anything below him, robust
Jagged and risky, high stabbing
armour with White shark tip
Cut throated fins.

Bald rugged with a silent manner
cold stone as white as marshmallow
steep and strong, bold and old
broad frosted shoulders

With powdered freckles and a storm grey
complexion it wore a white necklace
and a frosted crown, made
by heaven.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Rough

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

Comments

neopoet

9 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "GRANDIOSE MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN" vividly describes the imposing presence of a mountain through powerful imagery and descriptive language. The use of adjectives like "majestic," "craggy," "monstrous," and "rugged" effectively conveys the grandeur and ruggedness of the mountain. The comparison of its features to a shark with "cut throated fins" adds a unique and vivid element to the description.

However, there are areas where the poem could be strengthened. Consider focusing on creating a more cohesive structure or narrative flow to guide the reader through the imagery. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of metaphors and imagery throughout the poem to ensure a more unified and coherent depiction of the mountain.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the awe-inspiring nature of the mountain, but refining the structure and enhancing the consistency of imagery could further elevate the impact of the piece.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

9 months 1 week ago

Well done

Very well done. The intense imagery captured the essence of the mountain. Vivid pictures played throughout my mind as I ready through it. I have to say this is one of your best. Good job!

Jokerface82

9 months 1 week ago

Thank you

I appreciate that !

Rula

9 months ago

Hello J.f.

Love this so much. Personification is well used through out. I wish I can choose a favorite line but I really like everything about this one.
If I may suggest rewriting the title in lower case for a better presentation. I thought only the initial letters need to be in capital letter.
Do you not agree?
Much enjoyed
Thank you for sharing this one.

Jokerface82

9 months ago

Thank you

It was fun writing this! Much appreciated

mark

9 months ago

Nice!

Felt surreal at first then became the Majestic Mountain indeed!
Thanks for a nice poem Joker.
I love the mountains (only 75 miles from here).
Later,
Mark