Bon Fire

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Bon Fire," effectively uses vivid imagery and rhythm to create a mystical, nocturnal atmosphere. The use of semi-colons to separate ideas within each line contributes to a rhythmic flow that mirrors the drumbeats mentioned in the second line.

One area for improvement could be the clarity of the narrative or message. While the poem successfully conveys a sense of mystery and magic, it could benefit from more concrete details or a clearer progression of events to anchor the reader's understanding. For example, the line "Hecate's breath embraces swaying hips" is evocative but could be more explicit in its meaning or relevance to the overall narrative.

The poem also makes use of some traditional poetic devices such as rhyme and meter. However, the rhyme scheme is not consistent throughout the poem. If a consistent rhyme scheme is intended, revisiting the lines that do not conform to the pattern could strengthen the overall structure and flow of the poem.

Lastly, the use of archaic language such as "'Tis" can be effective for creating a certain tone or atmosphere, but it should be used sparingly and consistently to avoid sounding forced or inauthentic. The poem might benefit from a review of these language choices to ensure they contribute to the overall tone and theme.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

to gain the sense of rhythm in this.
I think I finally got it, but your next to last line is
ass backwards. In order to make the rhyme,
and meter, you have to rewrite the line to say:

[The veil is thinning, hear the roar of thunder.]

I like that the theme, is of Halloween and the rites of magic.
Good stuff! ~ Geez.
.

I much enjoyed this holiday poem. Especially the line about my favorite and patron Goddess! (she also represents the three-fold aspect and the crossroads). a wonderful contribution to the season! I am always wanting more from your pen...looking forward to it!

* Happy holidays! Cat & eddy styx

A great writing full off wonderful language. Great for this time of year. I have always loved your poetry!

Hello, Carrie,
I can feel the anticipation in the rhythm of this as I dance around the bonfire. I know this is one of your favorite times of year! I enjoyed this!
Happy Bewitching Season!
L

Great poem Rose, this is definitely your time of year. The time of year of whiches, scary things.!
Loved it!

your talent dear Carrie.
I feel goosebumps along my spine.
Great stuff!

The poem brings to mind the Avalon Series by Marion Zimmer Bradley and Diana L. Paxson. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avalon_Series) Your fascinating poem immediately brought it to mind. I believe there was also a movie made of it, "The Mists of Avalon". It feels more true than the other Arthurian tales.

Of course, living 42+ years with a Wiccan helps to bring to life the images within your poem, which I consider to be a perfect introduction to All Hallows Eve, 2024.

For me that was a stellar last line, which is solid and serves as a final capping off. Most if not all “experts” of poetry are advocates of a strong finish and that is what can be seen here. Many find this hard to pull off and just end by dissipating or trailing off… :-)