Hope

Hope, that old Saint,
A phantom O so faint,
Barely there yet always heard
Almost alive and almost dead

It walks a ghostly moonlit path
Paved of long groans and short mirth
This vagabond from some far off realm
Preaching of a great and beautiful balm

Haunting every sad soul
With visions of being made whole
Whispering to dry white bones
"Rise and carry your bag of stones"

Hope is a heart beating in Life's chest
And so Life herself be Hope's prison at best
The heart beats on without an end
And that is why the prison walls still stand.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Botswana

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Lord Byron, Kalil Jibran

Comments

neopoet

10 months ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

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Candlewitch

10 months ago

Dear Words Ablaze,

I very much admire how you have personified Hope! Because they resonate with me, these are my favorite lines:

Haunting every sad soul
With visions of being made whole
Whispering to dry white bones
"Rise and carry your bag of stones"

Good work! *hugs, Cat

Words Ablaze

10 months ago

Now that's music to my ears..

Now that's music to my ears...
I'm happy if you are happy. Thanks for reading.
More is coming.

Lavender

10 months ago

Beautiful throughout, but the third stanza really moves me. Truly defines hope. I, too, like the personification.
The "it's" in the final line does not need the apostrophe, and I'm not certain about the second line in the last stanza. Is it intended to be "it is" or "its" possessive?
Inspiring poetry!
Thank you,
L

Words Ablaze

10 months ago

The "it's" in the second line

The "it's" in the second line of the last stanza is as is, an "its".
Hope is a heart beating in life's chest
And so life herself be "it's" prison at best.
Or it can read.. "and so life herself be hope's prison at best.
That's what i meant.

And um glad you like it, you know I questioned if I should add that fourth stanza, I almost just stopped at that one you like but I just wanted to say more I guess