Real Horror Story

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses the theme of real-life horror to evoke strong emotions in the reader. The imagery is vivid and poignant, particularly in lines such as "rips out our heart and sucks the air from our lungs" and "brings tears to our eyes and knives to our chest". These metaphors effectively convey the intense pain and fear associated with the situations described.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter. The lines vary significantly in length and syllable count, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and distract from the powerful imagery. Experimenting with different poetic forms could help to create a more consistent rhythm.

Additionally, the poem could delve deeper into the specific emotions and experiences associated with the situations described. Rather than simply stating that these situations are horrifying, the poem could explore why they are horrifying and how they affect the speaker on a personal level. This could add depth and complexity to the poem, making it even more impactful.

Lastly, the final line of the poem, "Is a true horror story that scares us to death!", could be rephrased to avoid the cliché phrase "scares us to death". Using more original and unexpected language could make this line more powerful and memorable.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Horror has many faces that are all ugly.
Your poem said it all
Best wishes. Good job

I agree with Rula completely! Thanks for this, and good luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

It feels as though it's happening now. Great poem! We all have stories like these!

So true! I think that the reason that we make up horror stories is to try and out do
the ones that life hands us; to make us feel like there are worse things awaiting us, rather than the natural horrors of just living. I can appreciate the thoughts behind this one. Not a thing that I can point to, to make this better. ~ Geez.
.

Hi Clentin. I can agree with your words. I spent his last day with my late father in law but he knew he was going and was prepared. My Grandaughter Sophie (I have written about her), fading over 2 years from a brain tumour was a different matter.
I must be honest, objectively I felt a better rhythm would have caught the reader up more. As it is it seems to be a collection of words, however true that do not drive home the deep impact that it brings to a person. A weeping parent holding his child as she takes her last breath, or walking behind a flower decked coffin with schoolfriends all around, sitting in the church as their angelic voices raise the rafters. Beautiful but awful. And after, getting so pissed one can barely walk. I think to have emphasised these effects would have had a much deeper impact. Alex