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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 10/13/24 to 10/19/24

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Dearest Male Reader

I know how capable you are
You're built out of confidence, your gentle side attracts a woman's broken heart, and hope ignites
Though her heart has been broken
Broken by a man like you, your gentle side still attracts
Though she suffered in the hands of a man, she still trusts
I know, honestly, I know
Your aura and esteem say it all
You flourish among creation
Leadership is your natural born skill
From this day forth
You will treat all women like queens full of respect and care
Trust me when I say I know
Your capabilities exceed our expectations
I know that you are capable of changing the narrative
Capable of nurturing
Rather than abusing
Because to you being a man does not mean aggression
Rather, it means protection
See, I know
Your masculine side often misunderstood
Used and abused by our humanly ignorance
I just want you to see
See the great role you can play to protect, respect, love, and care for women
See the bigger picture
With your protection, the world can be safer place for H.E.R
I definitely know
You are capable of treating her as your equal
You are capable of being led by her, without feeling less of a man
You are capable of leaving her peacefully without leaving scars
You might have been blind but I hope that now you see
See that you are a capable man...

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: South Africa

Favorite Poets: S.E.K Mqhayi, J.J.R Jolobe, Maya Angelou, William Shakespeare

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

8 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem addresses a significant societal issue, which is the role of men in society and their relationship with women. The poem's strength lies in its clear message and the direct address to the reader, which creates a strong connection and evokes a sense of responsibility.

However, there are areas that could benefit from further refinement. The repetition of the phrase "I know" could be replaced with other expressions to avoid redundancy and to maintain the reader's interest. The use of the term "H.E.R" is not clearly defined in the poem, which may confuse some readers. If it is an acronym, it would be beneficial to provide its meaning within the poem.

The poem could also benefit from more concrete imagery and metaphors to make the message more impactful. For example, instead of stating "You are capable of changing the narrative," the poem could illustrate this capability through a metaphor or a vivid scene.

Finally, the poem could explore the complexities of the subject matter more deeply. While it's important to highlight the positive traits and potential of the male reader, acknowledging the challenges and societal pressures they face could add more depth and realism to the poem. This would not only make the poem more balanced but also more relatable to a wider audience.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Rula

8 months 2 weeks ago

Hello M. K

welcome to Neopoet. Hope to enjoy your time here and find your voice (as stated in your profile). A good take of the theme. I thought his reads more like prose rather than poetry. I like it though.
Looking forward to reading more of your works.
Thank you for sharing.

Lavender

Lavender

8 months 2 weeks ago

Dearest Male Reader

Hello, Malehloa,
I peeked at your profile and read that you are looking for your voice in order to speak for those who are voiceless. Commendable and inspiring, and this poem affirms that. You have much to say! I look forward to reading more.
Welcome to Neopoet!
Lavender

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

8 months 2 weeks ago

Dear MK,

Hello, and welcome to Neopoet. It is very nice to meet you! my favorite lines of your poem are:

You are capable of treating her as your equal
You are capable of being led by her, without feeling less of a man
You are capable of leaving her peacefully without leaving scars
You might have been blind but I hope that now you see
See that you are a capable man...

*hugs, Cat