I am Death

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "I am Death," presents an interesting perspective on death, personifying it as a misunderstood entity that aims to alleviate suffering. The poem is well-structured, with a consistent rhyme scheme that contributes to its overall flow.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The first stanza introduces death as the "culprit," which suggests a negative connotation. This seems to contradict the later stanzas where death is portrayed as a compassionate figure. This inconsistency might confuse readers about the poem's intended message.

In the second stanza, the metaphor of death as a "heartless drum" is intriguing, but it could be developed further to enhance its impact. For example, the poem could explore how a drum's rhythm could symbolize the inevitability of death.

The third stanza introduces the idea of sickness and suffering, which is an important aspect of the poem's theme. However, the phrase "the cruelty of sickness, year by year" is somewhat vague. Providing specific examples or imagery could make this section more powerful.

The final stanza presents death as a hero, which is a compelling twist. However, the phrase "torment's end" is a bit awkward. A smoother phrasing could improve the poem's readability.

Overall, this poem has a strong concept and structure, but it could benefit from more consistent messaging, developed metaphors, and specific imagery.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

hello and welcome to Neopoet, the poetry site. I hope you will stay and read other poet's poems and comment on them. There are those of us here that consider each other family! I liked these lines:

I've seen the worst, the pain, the fear
The cruelty of sickness, year by year
I stopped the agony, the endless night
But still, I'm hated, without a fight

Yet, to those who suffered, I hope I'm a friend
A hero who ended their torment's end
I showed compassion, in my own way
And freed them from life's painful sway

hugs, Cat

Hello, Luthando,
Welcome to Neopoet! I read a bit of your profile - I'm so moved by the statement you made about becoming "somebody" when given pen and paper. Although I'm quite sure you are beloved and very important to others, I do understand the feeling you have when writing - it's so vital, it's our "voice."
This is a remarkable poem. It has a calming and compassionate approach to a sensitive subject. I've recently read that the greatest peace we can feel is the acceptance of Death as our friend. I've certainly seen this when watching loved ones suffer and then pass along. I find your poem very beautiful.
Thank you, and again, welcome to Neopoet!
Lavender