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paul
paul
Oct 17, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Will you play?

Oh, what a game life is.
Brave are those
who keep playing,
not the ones
watching from the sidelines.

Roll the dice, pick a card,
guess a word—
do whatever it takes.
The rules?
They’re stacked against you.

Spill the real you?
That’s disqualification.
Wearing the mask
gets you to the next round.

Fear takes the wheel,
steering through chaos
on a crowded freeway.
No crashes, but no prize—
just back to start,
to try again.

Why play, you ask?
To show them
you can push five steps ahead
on broken roads,
unclear paths,
searching for clarity,
or an escape.

So, will you play?
Or stay on the sidelines,
safe from the risk
but far from the thrill
of surviving another round.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi, Sylvia Plath and Neopoet as a whole.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

9 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses the metaphor of a game to represent life's challenges and the courage it takes to face them. The imagery and language used are vivid, creating a strong mental picture for the reader.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistency in its metaphor. For instance, the game metaphor is introduced in the first stanza, but it is not fully developed throughout the poem. The reader is left to guess what game is being referred to, which can cause confusion.

The line "Spill the real you? That’s disqualification." could be clarified. If the game represents life, it's not clear why being authentic would lead to disqualification. This seems to contradict the idea of bravery and courage that the poem promotes.

The poem could also benefit from a more detailed exploration of the 'thrill' mentioned in the last stanza. It's suggested that there's a thrill in surviving another round, but this isn't fully developed or explained.

Overall, the poem has a strong central metaphor and engaging language, but could benefit from more clarity and development of its themes.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Rula

9 months ago

Hello boss

I'd rather play whatever the result is.
Life is a game of give and take. Never a forever loser, nor a forever winner.
You hit the nail.
You did it once again!
Thank you for sharing!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

9 months ago

Dear Paul,

Ignore AI...the poem is pretty clear to me... I am almost out of chips, but I am still in the game! I love it!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

Geezer

9 months ago

Best of Paulie...

I like this, better than anything you have written this year! I get the "Spill the real you". Yeah, when you interact with anyone, some of "them" rub off on you. Sometimes, we feel like we have revealed too much, or more than anyone wanted to know. Nicely done, sir. ~ Geez.
.

Lavender

Lavender

9 months ago

Will You Play

Hello, Paul,
I agree with all that's been said. It reminds me a bit of the personal spiritual flavor of "Do It Anyway" by Mother Teresa. "...show them you can push five steps ahead on broken roads, unclear paths..." Inspiring and well written.
Thank you!
L