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Oct 18, 2024
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Real Gone Rhyme
My poetry dried up each tear
I’d spilt whilst sobbing in my beer.
It held me, like a faithful friend,
when my sad world seemed at an end.
Throughout my lost and languid life,
(while shackled to a wolfish wife)
those stanzas urged me bide my time.
In sunless shade they shone sublime.
In dungeon’s dank, dark days and nights,
temptations, trials, fond fancy’s flights;
like when she’d chilled me to the bone
and sorrow’d turned me into stone,
they whispered, in a still, small voice,
(which made this rhyming rogue rejoice.)
Verse vowed true love would visit me
by streams of sweet serenity,
where I would tread my twilight years
with Venus, through this vale of tears.
They swore: “These sighs, you’ve sown in time
will reap romance and real gone rhyme!”
About This Poem
Last Few Words: a poem of hope
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
9 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Real Gone Rhyme" effectively conveys a sense of solace and hope found in poetry during times of hardship. The use of rhyme and rhythm creates a cohesive flow throughout the poem, enhancing its emotional impact. The imagery of being shackled to a "wolfish wife" and enduring trials in a "dungeon's dank, dark days and nights" adds depth to the speaker's struggles.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the metaphor of poetry as a source of comfort and resilience. Exploring specific examples or moments where poetry provided solace could enrich the reader's understanding of the speaker's journey. Additionally, considering varying the rhyme scheme or experimenting with different poetic forms could add complexity and nuance to the poem's structure.
Overall, "Real Gone Rhyme" effectively captures the theme of finding strength and inspiration through poetry, and further exploration of the speaker's emotional journey could enhance its impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
9 months ago
Real Gone Rhyme
Perfection. I'm so glad you have such a creative and loyal muse to encourage you. A hopeful poem indeed, and a joyful final line.
Thank you!
L
Blue-eyed Bolla
9 months ago
Real Gone Rhyme
Many thanks, L.