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Oct 24, 2024
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Sleeping Under the Stars
Like changing a bulb that's too hot to hold
The sun fell from the sky, but not from grace
Night drew in, the moon welcomed the cold
Until early next day, when the sun lit up its face
I slept overnight by the side of a creek
Amongst the roots of a tree, much larger than me
The oak swayed with the breeze as it rhythmically squeaked
Whilst I ignited a fire, the insects fled with speed
Rested and warm beneath the starry sky
Soothing sound of the owls, and wolves that howled.
I took a risk with that trip, all alone on that night
But it was worth it to sleep, under stars that wowed
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
8 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Candlewitch
8 months 3 weeks ago
Dear Michael,
I much enjoyed the serenity of your poem. But the last line of the poem feels clunky:
Rested and warm beneath the starry sky
Soothing sound of the owls, and wolves that howled.
I took a risk with that trip, all alone on that night
But it was worth it to sleep, under stars that wowed
*hugs, Cat