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Oct 29, 2024
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My love affair with God!
Falling out of
placid skies.
Teardrops form within
my eyes.
Torn from heaven’s
beatific view,
suddenly I
encountered you!
Steeped in feeling
passions flair
my love for you
I could not compare!
Once I reached to
touch your star.
Now it seems
a bit to far!
Nothing can recount
the time.
The gift received
it was sublime!
Now I feel to
play the fool,
standing barred
in front of you.
I gave in
so long ago
to our paired
respondent’s blow
The river flows
with blackened mud
prepared again
to face the flood
The deluge now
becomes an end
executioner
and maybe friend.
My heart is taken
in the end.
I long for home and be
considered a friend
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I wrote this as a parallel between the feelings that I have for God and those once held for my former spouse. Any punctuation help would be accepted and reviewed!
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
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