Just One Beer

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem appears to be a dark exploration of the themes of alcoholism, despair, and loneliness. The use of vivid and emotive language, such as "drown myself in every emotion" and "Tonight's a good night to die," effectively conveys a sense of deep emotional turmoil and desolation.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent rhythm and meter. The lines vary significantly in length and syllable count, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult for the reader to engage with the narrative.

The use of metaphor and simile, such as "it goes down smoothe like lotion," is effective in conveying the sensory experience of the speaker. However, the metaphor of "bodies on the floor" is somewhat ambiguous. If it is intended to represent the speaker's emotional state, it might be more effective to make this connection clearer.

The poem could also benefit from more varied language and imagery. The repeated use of the word "make" in the first stanza, for example, could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased to add variety and interest.

Finally, the poem's exploration of its themes could be deepened. The speaker's emotional state is clearly conveyed, but the reasons for this state are not explored in depth. Adding more context or backstory could help the reader to better understand and empathize with the speaker.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

"Just one beer, no!
Make it a shot of liquor!
No! Make it a double,
of anything that will kill me quicker."

these lines reached out and grabbed me up short, as truer words were never spoken! They put me in mind of a guy I lived with many many moons ago... He was a bartender, of all things! (also a budding alcoholic) I can always relate well to your poetry. thanks for sharing this with us...Good luck on the contest!

many hugs, Cat

that there is more to this than is revealed, and in the interest of cloaking the true meaning, you have obscured the tale with alcohol. Many times, that is true of writing of feelings and how to write about them. Rather than worrying about writing just for the sake of writing, it is best if we do not question the fact that we can write, but can we make clear our emotion. Sometimes, I will pick a subject that just does not convey the feeling I am trying to project. Try again. ~ Geez.
.

Good poem, displays many feelings deep within!
Life can get better!
Keep writing!