Days of Sun...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Days of Sun" employs repetition as a key device, which works effectively to emphasize the theme of memory and the cyclical nature of life. However, the repetition could potentially be used in a more varied way to avoid redundancy and to keep the reader engaged throughout.

The second stanza introduces the concept of "Quantum loops and sparks," which adds an interesting layer of complexity and abstraction. However, the connection between this concept and the rest of the poem is not clear. It might be beneficial to further develop this idea or to provide more context to help the reader understand its relevance to the overall theme.

The rhythm of the poem is somewhat irregular, which can create a sense of unease or disorientation. If this is the intended effect, it is well executed. If not, consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent rhythm.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. While the references to "days of sun," "gloom and rain," and "sparks of life" are evocative, they are also somewhat generic. Using more unique or personal images could help to make the poem more engaging and memorable.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

the pleasure is mine. I would call this "half loop poetry" :) as the last word in each line must be the first word of the next line. Yours missed the repetition once in stanza 1 line 3 and again in stanza 2 line 4. However this is said, it doesn't mean that I didn't like this one. Maybe a tweak here and there will give the form its justice. I really like the repetition of the word again as it enhanced the loopy feeling
I enjoyed it anyways.

Hello, Geezer,
Although not quite loop poetry - I really like it as is! I think you've invented a new poetry style. I might give it a try sometime! Enjoyed the language, the tone and the lovely theme.
Thank you!
L

...seems a bit of a branch from your usual style, Geezer. Always good to try different things! Great that you posted it here and we all can grow a little bit!

Thomas

A never ending cycle, even though it goes from sunny to rain. The same things keep happening again and again, things we will never forget. I like this style...very different than your usual writes.

I join in with the others in saying I liked it very much. I will be watching to see your next attempt at Loop Poetry.

much admiration, Cat

Candle 's wishes to you sir!

Warm regards! Hope you are feeling better!
L

I didn't see this until tonight I liked what Rose said though. Everything is cyclical it all comes round again!! Great poem, from you I have enjoyed and learned alot ! thank you! John

This one reverberates with me. The rhythm is very good, as are the word choices, but it is the message that reallly strikes home. I seem to catch myself falling into this kind of mood rather regularly.