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Dec 04, 2024
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The Hill
Oh what i’d give to be back up on that hill,
Oh what i’d give for time to stand still,
The valley spreads in green and gold,
A painted canvas, wide and bold
Each tree a story, each river's bend
,
A quiet tale that knows no end
The clouds float by, so soft, so high,
As if to teach the heart to fly
The quiet hum of earth and sky,
A peace so pure, I cannot deny
For up on this hill, with eyes aglow,
I see the world in a softer flow
And all my worries, small and few,
Are washed away in that grand view
I stand upon this quiet peak,
Where earth and sky in silence speak
The world below, a patchwork wide,
A sea of green and far-off tide
The sun, like gold, begins to fall,
Casting shadows, soft and tall
The hills roll on, in timeless grace,
Each curve a memory I can't replace
Oh what i’d give to be back up on that hill,
Oh what i’d give for time to stand still
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Hill" beautifully captures the speaker's longing for a serene and timeless place of solace. The imagery of nature, with its vivid descriptions of the valley, trees, rivers, clouds, and sun, creates a sense of tranquility and peace. The repetition of the lines "Oh what i’d give to be back up on that hill, Oh what i’d give for time to stand still" effectively emphasizes the speaker's desire to escape the passage of time and return to a moment of pure contentment.
One suggestion for improvement could be to explore more varied and unique metaphors or similes to further enhance the imagery and evoke deeper emotions in the reader. Additionally, consider experimenting with the structure of the poem to create a more dynamic flow and rhythm. Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of nostalgia and longing for a place of beauty and serenity.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Leslie
7 months 2 weeks ago
Abbey Jenkins
In a dream or vision. I once crawled up a hill like yours I looked down on humanity and realized that the opposition there just went on forever, but your poem describes a much more peaceful feel and sight.