Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Ruby Lord
Ruby Lord
Dec 18, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

A Sonnet To Neopoet

(Read More...)

Sonnet to Neopoet

I penned the moon, a glow on winding streams,
The murmured breeze, the whispers trees would share.
Yet though the words would sketch my wistful dreams,
The rhythm wavered, drifting unaware.

I learned to lace the metaphors I spun,
To thread my thoughts through meters’ measured strands.
The moon, my muse, my mammy long since gone,
Her stories etched by these, my willing hands.

Then NeoPoets light, a beacon bright,
Awoke my pen, its pulse a steady beat.
In pages vast, I found my writer’s flight,
Each voice a guide, my verses more complete.

Now bound by art, my soul runs ever free,
As Neo's pages give and grow in me.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: Margaret Atwood is one of my favourite writers. Carol Ann Duffy, Philip Larkin, Ted Hughes, Wendy Cope and more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

6 months 1 week ago

Hello Ruby

Nice to meet you. It's always a pleasure to read sonnets. Kinda of treasure that is about to extinct.
I have to thank Neopoet community for giving it's talented poets to share theirs.
Right to your wonderful sonnet. I think you did a good job there and it's a winner on many levels.
However, as you asked for an honest feedback, I'd like to point two tiny issues (as you are following the Shakespearean sonnet).
Your rhyme scheme is spot on all through, until it comes to "wove" and "love" . I'm sure you can find better alternatives.
The second issue is the volta. As I see you've yours in the second stanza while it should be a turning point at the third stanza. (Again if you strictly follow the Shakespearean sonnet).
And finally, I've abit stumbled over the last couplet

As a fix
Now bound by art, my soul [is] always free.
For Neo put a life, fresh into me.

Of course its all but suggestions that you can ignore altogether.I have really enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing and my best wishes for you in the contest.

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months 1 week ago

Hi Rula, thank you for

Hi Rula, thank you for reading and commenting on my work, thank you for your help and nice to meet you too. Wove and love, only on paper :) I often need a kick up the backside, I'm grateful for your comments. I would normally get my computer to read my poems which is how I work out if they work but I haven't done this for the ones I've recently posted, hence my sometimes clumsy meter and rhymes that don't rhyme ha ha.

I'll switch the verses round to comply with the volta, thank you this was very helpful to me, if only Shakespeare knew what I had done, I imagine he would have put me in one of his plays :) Macbeth?
Thank you again for your help, Ruby xxx :)

Rula

Rula

6 months 1 week ago

Hello Ruby

It's really my pleasure. I am so happy I could offer some tips for an already well-crafted sonnet.

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months 1 week ago

Hi Mark, thank you for

Hi Mark, thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate your suggestion and will think on it. Merry Christmas to you too, Ruby xxx :)

mark

mark

6 months 1 week ago

It's the footage

That last line loses the sing song rhythm imo
the syllables are on target though.
For Neo/poet breathed/ new life/ into me.
Neopoet bestowed new life unto me.
Ok I'm out lol, best for you
Mark

Lavender

Lavender

6 months ago

Sonnet to Neopoet

Hello, Ruby,
Another beauty from you. I really enjoyed the path taken within this poem. A lovely sonnet, and knowing your work, I can appreciate your journey.
Thank you!
Lx

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Ha ha, I'm probably not in

Ha ha, I'm probably not in the same groups as you. And I haven't high fived anyone in a long time but here you are, thank you for the high five :) xxx :) Ruby.

Triskelion

Triskelion

6 months ago

..a splendid sonnet..

..Ruby Lord. I am a little surprised in this wonderful paean. I feel a communal thing when I read the words within. It's really great that you took the time to express something I'm sure a lot of us here feel.
Just reading comments concerning the couplet, and if you were willing to trade off "into" for "in", I think it would resolve the metrical conundrum.
I really enjoy reading sonnets that revolve around heartfelt and emotional musings and this one is a fine example..Cheers!

Thomas

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Hi Thomas, thank you for

Hi Thomas, thank you for reading and commenting and your kind compliment. I've used your suggestion, thank you for that, I think you're right. Ruby xxx :)

Rula

Rula

6 months ago

Hello Ruby

Thomas' suggestion is absolutely spot on and solved the meter, but then you're left with one syllable less.

How about
For Neopoet breathed [a] new life in me.

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Hi Rula, thank you for your

Hi Rula, thank you for your suggestion, it is much appreciated. I've changed the ending couplet, I felt it was important to make every word count. And now I'm doubting the meter of the last line? Ruby xxx :)

Lavender

Lavender

6 months ago

Neopoet Syllables

In reading these sonnets, it appears there is a personal choice in how many syllables Neo has - it seems some use one, while others use two. Maybe a cultural difference?
L

Rula

Rula

6 months ago

Good point!

I always wandered how the site-owners wanted it to be pronounced. Like new or NE-O..
How do you pronounce it dear Lavender?

Lavender

Lavender

6 months ago

Hello, Rula,

I've always pronounced it Ne-o, with two syllables, but reading some of the suggestions here, I've realized I've probably been incorrect, regarding the preference of site founders.
How do you pronounce it, Rula?
Lx

Rula

Rula

6 months ago

Hello dear

Never had a strict pronunciation for it. I personally prefered the one syllable "new" as a more meaningful word.
I wish we could hear from the owners/founders to settle this issue :)

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Dear Lavender and Rula,

Dear Lavender and Rula,

Thank you for your support and the finer points you raise about the pronunciation of Neopoet. It was really tripping me up and the more I looked at it the more it looked wrong. I'm happy with it now, ha ha. A few words can make someone happy, isn't that why we're here? There are lots of poems on Neopoet that make me smile, tug at my emotions, and let me experience life as others do, by reading their words.

Happy Christmas everyone, take care, Ruby xxx :)

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Thank you Thomas, at least it

Thank you Thomas, at least it is done now. And thank you for your read, comments and help.
I'll go back to my lost sock poem, can't say I'm stuck for rhymes with that one ha ha.

Merry Christmas, hope it's a great one for you and yours, Ruby xxx :)

mark

mark

6 months ago

Dear Ruby

Think of it the way:
New Poet = Neopoet

;)
Mark

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

6 months ago

Hi Mark, thank you for your

Hi Mark, thank you for your comment and your support. The support here is always amazing, I think that's why the site works so well. Ruby xxx :)