Lavender

Dec 20, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Winter Solstice

Now Darkness comes to settle Hinterland
Its breath draws close to rivers, fields, and trees
The Earth is still, as Father Winter planned
While soulful beings sleep in times like these

The steely sky lies heavy in the realm
Of Northern Lights, consoling one lone star
Where once the Gold Sun claimed the Royal Helm
The Graceful Moon inhabits, never far

Majestic Owl, the Lord of Winterborne
Surveils the sojourned fowl and burrowed beast
Beneath the frozen furrows, wan and worn
From whence did fully fare the Autumn's Feast

The world is gowned within a brilliant frost
The glow of Winter Solstice, never lost

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Winter Solstice will arrive while I am sleeping. Another indescribable mystery of Mother Nature's charm.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Ruby Lord

6 months 2 weeks ago

Winter Solstice

Hi Lavender, another magical poem full of imagery and elegance. I do like the way you've used the verses to deal with the celestial and then the terrestrial. This is one of those poems that makes me "appreciate" every aspect of winter when I read it., thank you. Ruby xxx :)

Lavender

6 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Ruby,

Winter Solstice is a special time of year, reflective and introspective.
Thank you for reading my little sonnet!
Lx

kowque

6 months 2 weeks ago

I wish you knew how hot

It this side

I've never experienced a cold Christmas

But this led me there

I dunno what this Solstice stuff is. I'll Google it.

But I truly felt you did a great job at immersion.

I enjoyed this. A lot.

Lavender

6 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Koki,

This time of year, in the Northern Hemisphere, we are experiencing the Winter Solstice. The actual specific day is today, 12.21.24 - the day of the year with the shortest amount of daylight. It represents the cycle of life, both beginning and end. Darkness and Light, hibernation and awakening. From this day forward, until June 20, 2025, our daylight will slowly increase offering hope and comfort, while also encouraging us to slow down and re-energize during these dark winter months. Of course, you experience a much different climate and solstice experience. Mother Earth is phenomenal.
Thank you for reading!
L

Triskelion

6 months 2 weeks ago

..as usual..

..your vocabulary and subject is wonderful, Lavender.
I see a few places where the metre can improve and mulled some suggestions together. I'll wait to see some more comments before suggesting anything, though.
In one particular case, just removing "the" would be a quick fix.

I ponder these natural occurrences when they roll around, but absorb their awesomeness until I can't find words to describe the feelings they generate.
It's great there are people like you who can.

Thomas

Lavender

6 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Thomas,

So much to contemplate, but mostly I like to just enjoy the mystery of it all. I am very curious about your suggestions. I tend to stick to a syllable count with sonnets, which the strict poet inside me wants to do, but then I miss the mark with meter. I always appreciate help with chiseling a piece to make it flow smoother.
Thank you for reading and spending time here!
L

Triskelion

6 months 1 week ago

..lets look at...

..."Watches the sojourned fowl and burrowed beast"
Usually, sonnets are written in iambic pentametre where the first syllable is unstressed That line starts with a stressed syllable.
Reading it we get (excuse the caps)
WATCHes the SOjourned FOWL and BURRowed BEAST
Look particularly at where "the" follows "watches". There are two unstressed syllables together.
Correct! by taking out "the", the syllable count is now 9, but the metre is corrected, which makes the line more readable...nitpicky, and trivial compared to the wondrous arrangement in your outstanding vocabulary, but I would prefer that someone with your talent evolves all these things together.
If we added something in front of "watches" and removed "the", the line would stand the test of fire. That looks like a task to me, because so much around the line is affected.
I do hope you pursue this beautiful piece further, Lavender.

Thomas

Lavender

6 months 1 week ago

Hello, Thomas,

Yes, meter just doesn't seem to come naturally to me, so a keen eye (or ear) from you is greatly appreciated. I completely understand your suggestion, and, yep, at the same time I prefer to keep the traditional 10 syllables. It does seem like a task, but the poem speaks from my heart, so I'll give it my best.
Thank you for the time you've spent with this!
Best to you and yours.
L

Triskelion

6 months 1 week ago

I would bet...

...very few people have a natural talent for metre.
If you are open to a suggestion, you could change the word "watches" (WATCHes) for a word like surveil (surVIELS) which corrects the meter (metre) and keeps your syllable count. Just might not be a word you are comfortable with.
I wish more people would venture into these disciplined forms. I see the sonnet becoming more popular here and very nicely written.
I hope I'm not being marmy here, either lol..I just like to see writers pushing themselves for everyone's benefit.

sincerely: Thomas

Lavender

6 months 1 week ago

Hello, Marmy!

...er, I mean, Thomas! :)
I really like the word "surveils" and will gratefully use it! It has a lovely soft poetic sound to it, offers a touch of alliteration, and still gives the sense of a firm, almost stoic disciplined action. I appreciate it very much! There are several other meter misfortunes here that I'm working on, and it will take some time, but I am determined to give it my best.
Another "thank you" for the energy and time you have given me with this. I am always learning.
L

Made a few edits...finished by no means. :)

Triskelion

6 months 1 week ago

: )

...cheers!

Thomas

Lavender

6 months 1 week ago

Hello, Thomas,

I believe I'll let this one "hibernate" a while. I appreciate your visits!
Happy New Year!
L

Rula

6 months 2 weeks ago

Dearest Lavender

Sorry I have been a lazy owl the last few days. I've moved to a new country, new home and you know the rest :)
I wanted first to thank you for presenting the winter Solstice in such an amazing way!
It's a real beauty written with so much love. Can't pick a favorite line or lines.
Like sir Thomas I've stumbled over one or two lines which I'm sure you will be able to detect if you read out loud, but that doesn't say that it's not a sonnet that you should be proud to compose.
Thank you for sharing dear!

Lavender

6 months 1 week ago

Hello, Rula,

This particular poem did seem to come from the heart. Such wonderful mysteries as these make life so personal and at the same time, tenderly universal.
I'm always open to your suggestions and appreciate your help.

I'm curious to hear of your move and all that is going on in your life, if you care to share. I hope you are well, My Friend.
Thank you!
Lx