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Dec 24, 2024
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One night affair
the motel room was only a room
with her in it
In her absence it was
stillborn womb of plastic furniture,
trail of wet footsteps like afterbirth
led to ashes from her last cigarette,
smeared in the bathroom sink
filter tip-stained magenta,
or might be pink,
hard to tell with this myopia.
she had left in a hurry,
with last moonshine kiss
before dissolving in blue haze
without looking back.
I turn on the flatscreen
to sanitize this necrotic silence
eating my bones
only for it to sing mockingly.
C.L
12.22.2024
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Sen99
6 months ago
Hello Poet
You have crafted a creative little poem. The title is self explanatory, the language is good, the word choices interesting, some vivid images of a room, furniture and it contents, it sets up a visual scene and resolves well, the ending is clever too, on an adverb !
Nicely done